Another Side of Insane
by happy ametuer
Summary: Kratos comes with his answer to Yggdrasill's Age of Lifeless Beings. The only thing is that the Cruxis leader has obviously snapped over the last tiny straw. Now he has the choice of staying--or abandon ship.


Think back to EVERY manga and anime you have ever read or seen. I guarantee that there is at least ONE character that fits the girly description.

They have to match at least one of this:

1. Long hair that reaches past the shoulders.

2. Outfit that a girl will willingly wear.

3. Outfit that a girl will be embarrassed to be caught dead in.

4. Looks good in a dress (yes, Yuki Sohma, I am thinking of you, too).

5. Often mistaken as a girl or once mistaken as a woman in the game/show/manga (this includes YOU TOO, Cloud Strife!).

6. Outfit looks like it could be made of spandex.

So with what I have it looks like Genis, Zelos, Regal, Kratos, Yggdrasil, and Yuan fit the catagory. Especially Zelos and Yggdrasil. They're at the top.

* * *

Yggdrasil sits on his throne in deep contemplation. Disturbed contemplation. Through new eyes observing this world and through the words of several different characters, he has discovered a disconcerting revelation. Or two, or maybe even three. It doesn't matter; the information was better left unknown to even one such as him.

"Lord Yggdrasil."

Yggdrasil looks up.

"Kratos," he goes, "I assume you have come to a conclusion about my Age of Lifeless Beings?"

Kratos, with mental exhaustion etched in his face, nods. "Yes, Mithos, and—"

"You do see how advantageous and much improved a world is if the inhabitants are lifeless beings," Yggdrasil interrupts. "You have always been the logical one, the one who was always so down-to-earth. You could always see through things even when emotion clouded our vision."

Kratos tries again, "Yes, Mithos, but—"

"There absolutely can be no discrimination when everyone is the same, or rather there are no differences," the Cruxis leader inputs. "There will be no discriminating qualities that will leave anyone in a position to suffer."

"Mithos—"

"Of course, no one could feel any physical pain in the first place so that is out of the question. In fact, another advantage of my ideals is that survival will be easier than breathing. Severe temperatures don't bother any of us and there is no need for food or sleep."

"Will you just—"

And again, "Everyone is stronger than any monster on Derris Kharlan so I highly doubt anyone will be killed by a monster unless they are nothing but fools, for in that case they don't need to exist at that point."

"Listen to—"

"Besides, why would anyone wish to remain in a world that is deteriorating in every aspect? Even the men look pathetically like women now."

"What?" Kratos gawks. This has nothing to do with the Age of Lifeless Beings.

Yggdrasil disdainfully comments, "Even in my ideals gender is clear. I swear that all there is on that world are women and extremely girly men. Especially the idiots with long hair and spandex-like clothes."

"Lord Yggdrasil . . ." Kratos croaks out. Doesn't the man know how he looks?

Yggdrasil waves his hand to the side. "Of course, that probably means that I'm the girliest of them all, but really? Do those men have any pride? No. I swear I saw a man in a pink one-piece outfit running around Meltokio. Such men even put _women_ to shame! It is a wonder how a real man of that world can tell the difference between the two."

"Indeed," Kratos emotionlessly replies as he discreetly takes a step back to the portal.

The Cruxis leader rests his head on his hand. "You must think I'm being ridiculous, Kratos."

"Of course not." Another discreet step back.

Yggdrasil raises his chin higher in condescending disapproval. "If you don't believe me then go down and see for yourself. I won't blame you in the least if you do. You will find a society that places value on how much a man can appear more womanly than a real woman."

He tries his usual "humph," but it comes out as a strangled choke.

Yggdrasil doesn't look at him, he just continues talking. Kratos daringly takes a few more tiny steps back.

"Sadly, they could probably hold a lot of respect for me. As they should anyway, seeing how I'm far more superior than _they_ are."

"I see." Two more discreet steps back.

Unaware of his old companion's true thoughts, Yggdrasil keeps talking. "Of course you see. You always see. My Age of Lifeless Beings should be heaven compared to what that world is fading into."

Then Kratos blurts out, "Excuse me, my lord, there is an urgent issue I must see to."

Yggdrasil casually waves his dismissal. "Go on. You may leave. My mind is rather troubled right now."

As he uses the portal, Kratos mutters as quietly as he can, "I'll bet it is . . ."

Twelve hours later, an angel messenger arrives in Lord Yggdrasil's throne room and reports that Lord Kratos has left Derris Kharlan and disappeared all together. It will be known years later, just before his universally unexpected marriage to a former ranch captive named Anna, that he had escaped to Sylvarant.

* * *

Poor Kratos. I couldn't resist.

Please review.


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